Who: Nino Padova, senior editor
I’m giving up: Sarcasm.
Scooby-Doo recap of the last three days:
Mornings were great. I'm not a coffee guy (not bitter enough) so my brain moves at banana-slug speeds until about 10:30. Any loose lip before then can usually be written off as garden-variety grouchiness. I call that a win, albeit on a technicality.
Electronic communication—emails, IMs, texts, social media—still trip me up. My first impulse is to lock target and fire. But I've since instituted a standing eight count, like in boxing. If after eight long yoga breaths I'm still staring at a photo of your Siamese cat posing in a Santa Clause hat, there's no saving either of us. And for those personal emails for which there's absolutely no appropriate response other than a bracing shot of high-octane snark, I've composed the following automatic reply:
Thank you for your email. I am...well, I am away. Far, far, far away, but I will be resuming my normal position in the peanut gallery this coming Monday, January 13. So please, I beg of you, hold this thought until then.
I should mention that my face feels different. The muscles around the mouth, especially; they're not as bunchy and tight as they were a week ago. I don't know if that's because I'm smiling more or—the more likely answer—talking less. After all, for all of its cut and bite, sarcasm is a fairly elegant confection: a delicate balance of language and timing. Mixed properly and it can lend lightness and fun to a situation. Fumble the recipe, and you sound like a jerk.
I'm not sure that I've become a more sincere or earnest person over the last five days, but I can say that I wasn't a jerk to anyone. And isn't that what a cleanse is all about? Ridding yourself of the bad stuff to make more room for the good stuff. I learned to slow down long enough to weigh my words. A small step, but an important one. And already my face feels better!
Here's to a happier, healthier 2014, full of the good stuff.
Don't let the awesome end!