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There is a beefy mystery on the streets of New York City

Katie Dowd, SFGate  – July 23, 2019

On Saturday, in the midst of a heat wave so severe it likely caused passers-by to briefly wonder if they were seeing things, an In-N-Out burger was discovered on a street in Queens. It was perfect — two patties, cheese, special sauce, just a little bit of street dirt.

The discovery was made by California native Lincoln Boehm, whose world seems to be crumbling as a result of the find.

“It genuinely shook me to my core,” he told the New York Post.

Boehm told the paper he’s tried to transport In-N-Out from home before, but it’s never yielded such a pristine result, adding to his confusion.

“Every time I’ve done it it becomes inedible,” he said. “The bun gets soggy and it becomes a mess. This one was just in such perfect condition… It just felt strange… at first I thought it was some sort of viral marketing thing.”

It was not, In-N-Out confirms.

“Because our burgers are only cooked fresh to order in six states, it must have taken considerable planning for that burger to make the trip from the grill all the way to the Empire State,” a vice president of operations told the Post.

The saga has even gotten the attention of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who tweeted “it genuinely shook me to my core,” repeating Boehm’s exact response to the story.

The theories are myriad, from “rich person dropped it from a private plane” to extraterrestrials laying a trap. There is also the skeptical take: It could be a fun ploy by Boehm, whose personal website indicates he was twice named to a “most creative people in advertising” list.

Or perhaps one homesick Californian, deep into a reading of “The Secret,” finally learned how to manifest their own reality.