In a large bowl, combine cilantro, garlic, onions, ginger, soy, and honey. Add crab pieces. Cover and chill 15 minutes to 1 hour, turning crab often.
Coarsely grind pepper in a coffee grinder or crush with a rolling pin.
Pour oil into a 14-inch wok or 6- to 8-quart pan over medium-high heat. Pour crab, marinade, and 1 1/2 tablespoons pepper into wok. Stir often until crab is steaming hot, about 5 minutes.
Sprinkle remaining pepper over crab and mix well. Ladle crab and juices into bowls.
Note: Sharon Tobin starts with live crabs that she catches. If you start with live crabs, have your fishmonger kill 3 (5 1/4 to 6 lb. total), and clean and crack them. Marinate pieces (step 1), then lift out and add to hot oil (step 3), cover, and stir often for 5 minutes. Add marinade and 1 1/2 tablespoons pepper to pan and stir often until crab shells are bright red, about 5 minutes more.