On Christmas Eve, Rosetta and Maria prepare the customary Calabrian feast, called il cenone ("the big dinner"). It always includes 13 dishes, representing the apostles and Jesus. "It's not 13 courses," Rosetta hastens to say. "Some of the dishes might simply be fruits or nuts." Seafood is prominent. "We shop for it on Christmas Eve morning, because that's the mentality we have: It has to be fresh. And if you're not at the market by the time it opens, you don't get the best fish."
Rosetta, who was 14 and spoke no English when she and her parents settled in the Bay Area, earned a chemical engineering degree from the University of California, Berkeley, and had a successful career in the Silicon Valley. A few years ago, she reduced her work schedule to spend more time with her two sons ― Daniel, now 16, and Adrian, 12 ― and to cook with her mother. "She had never written anything down," says Rosetta, "and I realized that if I didn't record the recipes, they could be lost." The annual feast is now firmly set down in her notebook.
While many Italians and Italian Americans celebrate Christmas Eve with seafood, the menu that Rosetta and her mother have refined over the years also incorporates influences from their adopted Bay Area home. Pasta with Dungeness crab has become a family favorite, adding a California accent to the festivities. It follows a trio of antipasti: grispelle (sweet-potato fritters), frittelle con acciughe (anchovy fritters), and crostini with shaved bottarga, the dried-and-pressed tuna roe that is a Calabrian specialty.
If the pasta doesn't showcase crab or salt cod (another frequent ingredient on the Christmas table), it's a good bet that anchovies will get the nod. Spaghetti with anchovies and bread crumbs, prepared on Christmas Eve throughout Calabria, recalls more difficult times, when anchovies were one of the few fish all Calabrians could afford. The family eats it now, Rosetta says, because "it's part of who we are."